As American as scrambled eggs
2023-07-24
Dear reader,
“They look done,” I said to my 11-year-old this morning, about the eggs he was scrambling.
“Can you let me decide?” he replied.
“Don’t overcook them. I’d rather eat toilet paper than dry eggs.”
I said that last part in my head.
I said out loud, “You decide.”
As a youngster, his dislike of egg goo on his fingers made him a reluctant chef. Today, we walked into the kitchen of the beach rental where Sallie was cooking bacon for our family group of 18. He asked me, “Should I make the eggs?” I nodded and he started cracking.
When it’s up to me, I turn off the burner while the eggs are still glistening, letting them finish in the hot pan while breakfast is served. Can I teach this to him before I die?
I might not. The perfect egg is the one he cooked for us, himself.
Our group included family friends who happen to be Jehovah’s Witnesses. Loyal to God’s kingdom, Witnesses don’t vote. They don’t celebrate birthdays and most other holidays, believing that day-to-day faith is the way.
I’m an elected leader who was born around this time of year. I love a birthday party. I could try to convince them how to do it better. But why? I respect their self-determination. When a culture adopts a practice counter to other cultures, I sometimes wonder if it’s a flex of the group’s collective muscle. Going against the grain takes courage. It says, “We are strong enough to go our own way.” And with this family, I’ve seen how their community has given them strength when they needed it.
The Híaitíihi, indigenous people of the Amazon rainforest, are another strong community. They can do a lot of things that you and I can’t. For example, they can whistle their language, allowing them to talk while on the hunt.
When hunting, the Híaitíihi know the plants, animals, and spirits of the rainforest so well that they can come home with baskets full of fruit, nuts, and game. But according to observers who have lived with them, they’re just as likely to skip it. They’ll go hungry for a day or more while enjoying each other’s company, believing this makes them tougher.
Americans also love a day off with our friends. But we tend to stock our fridge first. And also a second fridge in the garage with drinks, brats, and tater tots, not to mention our cabinets stocked with canned beans and chips, not to mention our favorite take-out options.
The Híaitíihi make for a strong contrast. I’ve been astounded to read about how often they’ve passed up learning skills that an American survivalist would consider basic. They trade for the dugout canoes they rely on, and pass on chances to learn how to make them. The same with skills such as curing meat, counting, and drawing straight lines.
A westerner might think, “We know better. We’ll show you how.” But do we know better? The Híaitíihi are strong and resilient. Their culture would be just fine if not for colonization of their territory.
According to Daniel Everett, an American linguist who lived with them for years, the Híaitíihi believe in not being told what to do. They value direct experience above all. Everett started out as a Christian missionary before becoming an atheist. When it came to Jesus, Everett says the Híaitíihi tuned him out. Why? Everett hadn’t met him.
Smart or dumb? I can see it both ways.
Like having an accent, it’s easier to spot “weird” ideas in other cultures. What about mine?
I believe that America is the best country on Earth. I believe we have a special role to play in the world in fostering democracy, freedom, and equality under the law.
This is mocked by some as “American exceptionalism.” Go ahead. Show me the rankings of how other countries do math better or make stuff that we rely on. Tell me how it’s silly to call our country “America.” I get it—we share the Americas with 34 other sovereign states, most of which we bully around, or have in the past.
I don’t mean to make light of it. I’m not denying our history. I have no leniency for wrongdoing. We must and we can do better, including when it comes to supporting the independence and self-reliance of Americans and of the people we affect around the world.
Those ready to give up on the U.S.A. and pledge allegiance to Canada are welcome to do so—no hard feelings. But I think they’ll find, sooner or later, that Canada isn’t immune to messing up a lot of stuff. Following that logic, should Canadians fall in line with Denmark or Bhutan?
No human is perfect, and no group of humans can ever be. To abandon our belief in ourselves would only lead to our absorption by some other non-perfect group. It’s a path to sameness and mediocrity. Get rid of nations, or form your own nation of one? Go ahead—I’ll be curious how you organize anyone to be there for you when you need them.
High winds on the beach were no match for our American pride.
I’m proud to be American.
The faults in American history aren’t a reason to turn away. They’re a reason to show up. They’re a reason to say, “We are strong enough to face anything.”
I’m proud of my son’s choice to take his destiny into his own hands. By owning his actions and their cons-egg-quences, he’s flipped a switch to become a lifelong innovator.
I’m also proud that he’s doing it for us. It’s a trait that I want every American to have. When he enters a room he doesn't assume he knows better. He assumes he has something to contribute, a duty unlocked by asking, “How can I help?”
Warmly,
Tristan Roberts
Quill Nook Farm