Could things get better?

2023-11-04

Dear friend,

Thank you to everyone who wrote back to share your experiences in response to About the time I kicked benzos. Each story has been really cool. Here's a snippet from Marianne:

I too have been working on my childhood traumas,my last failed relationship
Made me aware I had to stop and go inward. This is my journey now,I too relied on
Marijuana for relief,also cigarettes.

I can joyfully say I am growing each and every day.the road is not linear,it curves
And has bumps.

I no longer use weed or cigarettes, I am standing on my own two feet,so to speak.​

We all have sadness and trauma from our past. It is so life affirming and
Validating to openly share our struggles the way you have.
I feel this helps others immensely to know they are not “the only one”

Marianne and many of my neighbors in Vermont remind me of a quote.

"For unto whomsoever much is given, of him shall much be required; and to whom men have committed much, of him they will ask the more." – Luke 12:48

What does this mean?

I used to think it was about Spiderman. In the comics, Uncle Ben advised Peter Parker on how to use the gift of his superpower by reminding him, "With great power comes great responsibility."

But what if I don't feel super-empowered? What if I feel burdened by bad luck and difficult circumstances?

What I've noticed is this:

--> If I see my past trauma as a curse, then I will be cursed to carry it with me and recreate it.

--> If I see my past trauma as a gift of being alive one more day, then I will find something to learn from it. I find more agency and autonomy in the present.

Also:

--> When I'm triggered, and speak or act defensively, my fears more often manifest some version of the outcome I was afraid of.

--> When I acknowledge my triggers as a signal, information on something from the past, then I'm far more likely to see a growth opportunity and break a negative cycle.

I've seen this in my life, but if you don't believe me, take it from Dick Hamilton.

Staying angry with the past doesn't pay.

I had the honor of meeting Dick at the Whitingham Senior Lunch on Thursday.

Last year about this time, Dick had a party that made the Reformer: WWII veteran, Skyline Restaurant co-manager turns 100.

Now Dick's 101. He told me he reads my Reformer column, and one thing led to another.

Dick Hamilton and Me

Dick was eager to pull out a couple photos his daughter Marcia had along with her. Here he is in 1960 operating a stone boat with two draft horses and three of his four daughters at the home he still lives at in Marlboro.

Dick Hamilton and three of his four daughters

Dick Hamilton was 6 when his 38-year-old father died from pneumonia and measles. That was 1928.

The idyllic scene above?

Farm chores and hard labor was a feature throughout Dick's childhood and adult life on the family farm.

Dick grew up without indoor plumbing, without electricity, without a thermostat.

Without without without.

Trauma, or gift?

A lot has been asked of Dick Hamilton, and he's managed to do a lot, even in the face of adversity.

He held down a 40-cent-per-hour feed delivery job as a senior in high school, while also volunteering to run concessions at games and Harris Hill. He bought his first car at age 19 from the earnings from a poultry business.

Drafted into WWII in 1942, Dick was a radio operator in a B-17 dropping bombs over Germany when his plane was shot down over Leipzig. Out of nine crew members, Dick and four others survived but were captured. Dick survived for 10 months as a Germany prisoner, including a 77-day march in winter that left the bottoms of his feet number to this day. (His story is gripping: World War II POW Recalls Wartime Experiences.)

How did he not only survive that, but thrive?

Dick married his sweetheart Joyce a month after his return, went to culinary school on the G.I. Bill, and co-managed the Skyline Restaurant on Hogback for almost 50 years.

Dick's upbringing wasn't easy by any measure.

"That really helped me when I was a POW," Dick told me, about his early life in Marlboro.

A lot was asked of him, and he found he had a lot to give. Each facing of an adversity showed him he could do more.

Richard H. Hamilton poses for a photograph while giving an interview at his home in 2013. (U.S. Air National Guard photo by Staff Sgt. Sarah Mattison)

I admire Dick and how he continues to stay connected at 101. When I called his house just now to fact-check the date on the photo, Marcia told me he was at breakfast in Readsboro.

Get to know Richard H. Hamilton if you see him out. Learn from him.

Vermont doesn't make men like Dick anymore.

***
I'm afraid we have it backwards. We talk a lot these days about "privilege" as a scarce resource held by a few hands. And as long as we think this, we will make it so.

But I wonder if a life like Dick's leaves us clues for how to turn burdens into advantages. Can we make privilege a renewable resource?

I have some more thoughts on that, that take us from Vermont to Senegal, Africa. Next time!

Who do you admire?

--> Today in Halifax at Noon at Halifax Elementary School, 246 Branch Rd., we celebrate the 60 years of public service of Lewis Sumner with a potluck lunch, stories, and a special announcement. Everyone's welcome!

--> Consider celebrating Veterans Day this year by attending a Vets Town Hall in your community -- see their calendar. I'm planning to attend in Brattleboro tomorrow, 1 p.m., Brattleboro's American Legion Post #5, 32 Linden St.

With the event for Lewis, I'm not going to get to Manchester for the game, but maybe you can...

--> Twin Valley vs. Winooski, Boys Varsity Division 4 Finals -- Applejack Stadium, Manchester, Vermont. 3 p.m.

The Wildcats are fun to watch with great passing, ball control, and heart. The spirited 7-1 win on Thursday, battling both Rivendell and white-out conditions was amazing. Let's cheer on Coach Hayford and the Twin Valley boys!

The blue sky spreading our way gave us hope that the game could go on.

Have a great Saturday.

warm regards,

Tristan Roberts
Vermont House of Representatives

P.S. When I originally posted about Vets Town Halls back on September 26, a reader wrote back, saying:

Got your Veteran's Day email. I would find it more satisfying if the event you described as non-political story telling welcomed conscientious objectors like myself.

I am old enough to have served in Vietnam but did not. My kind war story is different but represents a meaningful good aspect of this country.

I forwarded his question to the Vets Town Hall organizers, which include Kristen Eaton and author Sebastian Junger. Here's what they said:

The purpose of a Vets Town Hall is (not to share views) but to create connections and increase understanding between local veterans and nonveterans. While conscientious objectors do represent a meaningful aspect of this country, Vets Town Halls are not trying to represent the country as a whole, but to increase understanding around the experience(s) of serving in the military. The format that supports this is to invite veterans to speak, and civilians to listen.

A conscientious objector who served in the military (but performed noncombatant duties) would be welcome to speak at a Vets Town Hall. (There are two classifications of conscientious objectors: those whose beliefs prevent them from participating in war in any form, and those whose beliefs prevent them from participating as a combatant. The latter type can serve, for example, as a medic.) We ask that any individual who did not serve in the military simply attend and listen.

What are your thoughts?

Most people don't like to talk about politics, and yet key events that shape our lives, like war and COVID, have been politicized.

Would we benefit from having additional non-political, non-judgmental forums to share our stories?