From this spot on Earth to the next

An anonymous resident is circulating an entertaining email with the subject line, “Some of the terrible things Tristan Roberts (Windham 6 Democratic candidate) writes on his campaign blog (Samples included).”

The resident, “Concerned Halifax,” complains that I say “terrible things” on my “turgid blog.” My posts are “thousands of words long and ramble through extended metaphors and loosely connected meditations.”

Fact check—All true. 

Concerned goes on. They say that I shouldn’t talk on my “campaign blog” about my family history, my work history, or U.S. history, because I have “strong opinions” that “someone” ought to look into. Concerned does not quote any part of my blog that offends them. Concerned does not fact-check me or even disagree with me. Reasons for my offenses? None are given. Concerned out-of-context quotes are refuted with sentences like, “To think this is one thing. To think it's OK to ever write it is something else altogether.”

 I started this in March 2021 as a blog about nature and family and emotions. I first emailed it to friends in my professional network. It grew one reader at a time, and became a biweekly Reformer column.

An old coworker, Ben Hewitt, wrote to me last year. He said, “I wanted to let you know that I have been reading and enjoying your posts and appreciate the rawness and honesty in how you write them. When I read what you have been sharing I often think of the adage ‘the obstacle is the path.’ I empathize with your stories and appreciate the correlations you bring to nature. Keep it up!”

I’ve received dozens more (signed) notes like this. Why?

When I’m caught in life’s labyrinths, it doesn’t help that much when the self-help author comes along and says “Why don’t you hurry up and find the exit already? And try being more positive!”

What helps me when I’m in the maze is a thread to follow. I wrote these stories as a memoir for my son, an inheritance of threads. Any usefulness after that is gravy.

I have chosen to include in my memoir some thoughts that are difficult. We should all view them with skepticism.

But in my writing, I pause with these thoughts. And when I have listened to a difficult, angry, or hurt voice in my head and chosen to give it a moment of attention and love instead of pushing it away, the thought that follows reflects a more integrated, whole, loving, and empathetic self.

I even feel better. And so I dare to call this healing.

McKenna Britton, a reader and now collaborator, told me, “Thank you, Tristan, for writing the reality of how it sounds in your head. This is the reality of living with childhood PTSD, anxiety, depression, disordered eating, dysmorphia, etc. I find solace knowing that the greatest folks in my life also have those voices gnawing on their earlobes.”

Our society has taken steps to destigmatize mental health. But we will halt in our progress until we also bring this acceptance inside ourselves. I live my truth, in the open. You’re free to not read.

Concerned writes that my blog attempts to “settle family disputes.”

Have you ever wished that someone in your life would treat you well and love you? And you wanted it so bad that you stayed for way too long? I chose to leave. I pray that every person has the freedom and can make the hard choices to get there.

I own what happened to me. How I can take responsibility, not hoist blame, is a constant theme. Every post is my story, only.

Have I offended someone? In the hundreds of reader emails, not one is. I’m sure I will at some point, and I welcome the dialogue. But no writer, no human being, owes it to the world to edit their creative expression down to a point at which no person anywhere could possibly be offended by it.

And I wouldn’t want them to. Our world needs more of us to participate in dialogue.

A lot of stuff went down over the last few years. Trump. #MeToo. BLM. Climate. All. The. Things.

I noticed that myself and others had lost touch with our voices. On many topics I felt too anxious to talk in public lest I say an incorrect thought or fall on the wrong side of family politics.

I hated that I wasn’t contributing to the conversation, but as a cis hetero white man I also wasn’t sure what I had to add. I didn’t feel that I was part of the problem, but everything we’ve learned about unconscious and structural inequity told me that wasn’t enough. Setting down privilege requires action.

“One of the problems is that slavery is taught as the history of Black people and not the history of white people.” – Bilal Harry Khan

I decided to write about it. Even if there is some risk of being misunderstood.

I won’t stop.

What if I write something that I later decide is incorrect, or could be said better, or needs to be updated? What if I had the audacity to evolve in public?

Books like Writing to Learn by William Zinsser and Bird by Bird by Anne Lamott have taught me and many others how writing is a path. The opportunity to learn is why I write.

Writing is mostly revising. Like a lot of people, I created a blog to share drafts with readers who found me through affinity. Twenty months into “This Spot on Earth,” things have changed. Running for office brought me my first reader who would knock me over.

Here’s my plan. Have you ever watched a porcupine feed? They lean back on their tail like it’s a stool, and use their paws. I love that. I love our Earth.

The Reformer told me today I can have my column back after the election—I’ll see you there! I’m also taking my turgid blog offline in order to make it a turgid book. A book so turgid, we’ll need three-and-a-half books to hold these essays when I release them into the wild. 

In the meantime, contact me if you want a specific one, or on a specific topic.

Tristan Roberts is on the ballot in Halifax, Whitingham, and Wilmington (Windham-6) on November 8th for State Representative. Give him a “hell yeah” anytime at tristan@tristanroberts.org.