What I learned not getting into Deep Springs College
2025-07-22
Dear reader,
If life had gone my way, I might have been Nevadan.
As a senior in high school I had my heart set on attending a college whose motto remains "Prepare for a life of service." Deep Springs is a junior college on a ranch near Bishop, California -- near Death Valley. The initial Deep Springs application required seven essays. Having cleared that bar I was invited to visit over a long weekend during the spring of my senior year.
I flew into Las Vegas by myself and spent the night at the Greyhound station just off the Strip. The next morning I slumped onto a five-hour bus that dropped me in the parking lot of the Cottontail Ranch. From there a Deep Springs van took me and three other prospective students on another hot drive through ranches to the hidden valley of Deep Springs.
Somewhere I still have the panoramic photo I took of the ranch. I climbed up the mountain out back and photographed it one frame at a time, rotating around the landscape. I wanted to join the community there because I saw the freedom in the discipline of the two-dozen self-organized college students of Deep Springs. I also imagined that in the quiet of the desert perhaps I could really hear myself and understand my own call to service.
My faith that self-governance is the best kind of governance remains forever buoyed by the Deep Springs example and by the copy that I picked up there of the Constitution of Deep Springs & The Deed of Trust.
This is from page 16 of this compendium of letters written to the students by founder L.L. Nunn in 1918–1921:
Freedom
The absence of restraint through conformity to law.
Law is universal; it applies to all.
Lawlessness is individual, subtle, a disregard of others, an effort to use those natural rights which society has found necessary in order to protect each and every individual alike. Lawlessness is continually intruding itslef on others; is inconsistent with society.
The purpose of Deep Springs is to secure in its members complete renunciation of self, the dedication of one's self and all he can ever become, all he has and all he can ever acquire to sentient universe—the taking of the oath of allegiance to the moral order of the universe. This purpose is advanced by intellectual grasp of the problem but also and perhaps more so by the practice of details in conformity with such dedication.
Especial attention to the purpose as above mentioned has been left for the last part of the school year. There are ninety days remaining. I ask intense concentration both in action and restraint to the end that the observance of law becomes habitual and lawlessness be banished....
page 16 of Deep Springs Constitution
The odds of my Las Vegas trip were long. As it turns out, my heart wasn't destined to dawdle through Nevad-ill, but to saunter in Vermont. I didn't make the cut for the incoming class of 12 (out of 200 applicants), but the place has stuck with me.
I recall the Student Senate meeting being informal but rigorous -- not unlike Town Meeting here. Students are expected to remain on the ranch through the semester, the better to focus on their inner and outer work. At the meeting I attended, some students were dragged over the coals for going to California for the weekend. They were asked for an honest accounting of what they had learned, and they willingly gave it.
Then a student spoke up. He said this: "I have needs." This was before streaming services gave us all the music we could ever want, tailored to our tastes, on our personal device. He had a handful of record albums and cassettes and was sick of them. He stated that he was looking to borrow certain record albums -- if anyone had them.
I can't remember the bands that this guy was seeking after, but I do remember what I thought of him --- that he was stark, raving mad.
At 17, I had only known a family environment where saying what you needed was to admit a vulnerability. Dreams, wishes, wants? I had been taught by example that it was better to keep them to yourself.
Take my overnight in the Greyhound station in Vegas. My parents had booked my flights. They had the money and the foresight to book me a hotel room for the night, but they didn't. If it occurred to me to do so, I ran the mental math and decided that I was better off taking care of my own needs, taking what I was given, and getting along as best I could. I guess I figured that at some point in the future all this thrift would be a virtue. I was aware of not getting a great night's sleep slumped in a chair in the Greyhound station. But I wasn't aware of having the option of calling my parents the night before an important college visit to say, "I have needs."
***
As I shared yesterday (47 years, 4.7 lessons), it's my birthday today!
Do I have needs? Yes I do. I want to enjoy life and make art and spark more joy in the world.
Here's something you can do along with me today to celebrate joy and art. This is a doodling exercise that I like to do with my family, and it's also worked well in my "Free Writing" class in prison. Use it anytime you want to loosen up your imagination or that of a group.
Step 1: Find a single piece of paper and a pen or pencil.
Step 2: Fold the paper into four quadrants, and unfold it.
Step 3: Very quickly, without thinking about it, sketch a random shape in each of the four quadrants. At this point, your paper should look something like this:
paper folded with four shapes
Step 4: Optionally, set a timer for five minutes. Now, doodle on each of the shapes to make it into a character or a scene. Pay no mind to "making sense" or making good art. This is 100% just for fun.
That's all! I've shared my doodle below. Feel free to send me yours.
Finally -- it's July 22 -- wow! Enjoy this beautiful day wherever you are, and please remember to celebrate and share your needs.
warmly,
Tristan Roberts
Quill Nook Farm
Halifax, Vermont
P.S. here's my doodle from this morning. Send me yours!
my doodle as an example. send me yours!